So. This One Time at a Wedding. -Short (and embarrassing) stories from my life as a wedding photographer!

I love weddings. I love what I do with a passion and I hope to be a wedding photographer for all of my life! With that being said, weddings have their share of drama, adventure, inspiration, frustration, and for me sometimes -embarrassment! Let me introduce to you my first "So. This One Time at a Wedding..." post for what I hope will become a regular appearance on my blog!
SO. THIS ONE TIME AT A WEDDING…

1. THE GRAPE JUICE MOMENT:

5 minutes before the ceremony was about to start, I noticed the wedding planner left an entire plastic bottle of Welch’s grape juice on the communion table and had forgotten to pour it into the bride and groom glasses for the ceremony.
I ran up to her:
Me: Oh no! The grape juice bottle is still up there unopened! We’re getting ready to start I think.
Her: Oh my gosh, thank you! Can you run up there and pour it right now? Just walk up the center aisle and pour it and exit out the back of the stage!
Me: What? Right now? I’m not a part of the ceremony, I’m just the photographer..
Her: Please! Go!
So I walked up the center aisle. Guests smiling at me as I did so. I struggled to open the plastic bottle of grape juice. It was so full and I didn’t want to make a scene. It wasn’t opening! I could feel the room of 150 pairs of eyes burning holes in the back of my head! I knew that I’d have to use a lot of force to un-twist the cap and that I would most definitely spill it. So I took the bottle AND the glasses behind the stage. Opened (and spilled a little of) the grape juice. Poured the glasses. Walked the filled glasses back out to the alter area. Exited the stage.

THE WORST PART:

The videographers had a live feed of the ceremony being shown on a HUGE front projector screen for all the guests to see. They had shot every moment of my grape juice pouring as if it was a part of the ceremony!

2. THE HELPFUL HANDY-CAM MAN

An hour before the ceremony started, I decided to introduce myself to the non-professional “videographer” at the wedding I was photographing. I started to say hello and he shushed me saying, “Quite young lady! Can’t you see we’re recording back here?! Now what do you want?” The following conversation ensued while he proceeded to grip my arm harder and harder with each passing moment.

Me: I just wanted to introduce myself and make sure that I wasn’t in your shot if I stand at about the 5th row where the family and priest have asked me to remain.
Him: You are NOT the center of attention at this wedding, young lady!
Me: OH. Yes, I realize that, thank you. I was just checking to make sure tha-
Him: You are NOT the focus of today’s events. This ceremony is NOT about you! You are NOT the center of attention young lady! This is a holy ceremony and this is NOT about you!
Me: OH! OK. Yes, thank you. I’ll just go get set up now, thank-
Him: You just stand back here by me in this sound booth for the ceremony. This day is NOT about you and you should be no where NEAR the front!
Me: Oh, OK. Well the priest and family have asked that I be at about the 5th row so that’s where I’ll be for the-
Him: That is far to close, this is not about you! You are NOT the center of attention at this holy day! This day is NOT about you!
Me: OH! It’s not? Oh my gosh! Thank you for telling me, I had NO idea!!!! Wow. What would have happened if you hadn’t told me that! THANKS! Bye!
Him: You’re very welcome.

THE WORST PART:

He asked me for my business card after the ceremony so he could “keep track of me” ?!?! YAH RIGHT!

3.THE ATTACK OF THE NAPKIN THROWER!
I was helping a fellow photographer and friend out with shooting a wedding where her second shooter couldn’t make it. She needed me to hold a light-on-a-pole type of contraption near the corner of the very dark reception room during the first dance. What took place is in no way an exaggeration:

Beautiful dance. Emotional moment. Everything’s going great.
THWAK! I felt something hit me in the back of my head.
Hmm. Maybe it was just someone trying to pass by behind me.
THWAK! OK. Someone is trying to get my attention, but I don’t see anyone around me. I’m right next to the P.A. system, everything is loud, the disco lights shining in my eyes. Hold the light steady and stay focused.

THWAK! Then I hear a screeching shrill voice: "Get out of the way you stupid girl! Get out of the way! I can’t see the dance!" It was still so hard to see in the dark room, but I was able to make out a lady with a camera sitting at a table slightly behind me and to my left.
I realized she was throwing decoratively folded napkins at my head.
Then another one.
Then I’m pretty sure that was a spoon, not a napkin! I was so close to tears just from the shock of realizing someone was intentionally trying to hit me with articles from the table place settings!

After I realized I was being assaulted and needed to get away from this crazy person, I bolted to the other side of the dance floor to get a better look at my attacker – Instead of seeing a family member, someone close to the bride and groom, I saw some hippie-Aunt-Bertha –Birkenstocks with socks and all -with her entry level DSLR and zoom lens trying to get a shot of the first dance. She never apologized. I cried. The napkins really hurt, ok?!

THE WORST PART:

The bride had no idea who the lady was and we determined she must have been working for the venue or the DJ!

4. LARGE MARGE'S IDENTICAL TWIN = Worst Church-Coordinator Experience EVER!

It was my first paid wedding. Dallas, TX at an adorably quaint, tiny, old, squeaky wedding chapel. I was so excited!

The family requested that I take a few shots from ON THE STAGE ( next to the videographer ) to get some close-ups of the bride and groom’s face during their first communion. The minister performing the ceremony had no problem with this. I practiced this at the rehearsal and everyone agreed it was a great idea!

On the day of the wedding, I approached the stage during the first communion. It was a large stage area, low to the ground and I was standing right beside the videographer. Out of the corner of my eye, Large Marge’s (from Pee Wee Herman!) identical twin was running up the squeaky small side aisle in my direction. To my shock and horror, she grabbed my arm (WHAT IS UP WITH PEOPLE GRABBING MY ARM?!) and literally dragged me back down the aisle! It was such a distraction and I was absolutely mortified!
Me: Excuse me! What is going on? I am meant to be on that stage at this very moment!
Large Marge: You have desecrated a holy moment between God’s children!
Me: Wha???? Please let go of my arm!
Large Marge: You are a MAJOR distraction and I cannot allow you to be on the alter!
Me: The family and minister have no problem with it. Please excuse me so I can perform my job!

THE WORST PART

She purposely turned out all the lights during the family formal group shots after the ceremony and disappeared for 25 minutes. True story.

5.THE MAGICAL TIN CANS

So. The bride and groom had exited to their get-away car. All the guests were waving and smiling! Their get-away car had about 40 tin cans resting and dangling magically 6 feet back from the trunk area. I wanted to get a shot from the other side of the car in order to capture the guests faces looking on at the bride and groom in their car! Great idea, right? So I walked between the magical tin cans that were somehow invisibly connected to the car by FISHING STRING.

Let me repeat. I walked BETWEEN the cans and the car. Lesson learned? Tin cans are not magic. They ARE connected by something and you WILL trip, get tangled up, fall flat on your face and need assistance to get out of the invisible strings of doom that hold the tin cans to the car.

THE WORST PART:

I’m pretty sure I saw about 3 guys videoing the whole thing on their phones. Great.

ATTACK OF THE BEST MAN... IN A CAR

As me, my co-photographer Larissa, the bride and groom and the best man were leaving a photo-location, the best man wrecked into my co-photographer's brand new car. While it was in park. He smashed the entire driver's side / door area. I didn't see it happen, even though I was in my car 3 feet away.
The worst part? Larissa called me crying and I thought she was saying that I WAS THE ONE who wrecked into her car. This is after I'd already ran over a Mac Book Pro that very morning. What a day.

I look back and laugh at these moments and at myself... And I hope you are laughing WITH (not at.) me too!
Do you have any crazy / unbelievable / funny stories from a wedding? Let me know!... if only for the sake that I don't feel like such a loser!